A Moment of Transparency

Hello, my lovelies.

It’s been a while, huh? How are your kids? Your families? Your friends? How are YOU?

I’ve always been transparent with you all, and I’m not going to stop now.

This year, writing-wise, has been horrible for me. I’ve not been feeling it, and I don’t know why. I find myself procrastinating more often than not. I have so many deadlines that I’ve failed to meet, or releases I’ve had to push back because of this.

When I am able to make myself write, it's only paragraphs at a time. Sometimes just sentences before I’m ready to toss in the towel. Used to be, I’d write every day. Now, I’m lucky if I can force myself to do it a few times a week.

I don’t know if it's burnout, imposter syndrome, or what. I don’t know if it’s because AI seems to be taking over and it's getting harder for authors to find traction anywhere. I don’t know if it's because it feels like this world is on fire with no one to put out the flames. I just don’t know.

When I started this career in 2018, it wasn’t as hard. Don’t get me wrong, for me, writing isn’t the hard part. It’s everything else that comes with it.

My passion for writing is still there. I WANT to write. I NEED to write. Sometimes, I just…can’t. There’s this wall up, and I can’t find my way over it.

There are days when I feel like crying because I can’t get past this. And most of the time I’m alone in my head with my failure because I feel like I’m letting everyone down if I express what’s going on with me out loud.

I’m failing you all, my readers. I’m failing my family. I’m failing my friends. But most of all, I’m failing myself.

Mentally, I’m exhausted. Emotionally, I’ve been wiped out for a while. Physically, I’m still here.

I’ll find my way again. I always do.

Just know…I am writing, and I’ll continue to do so. I’m too dang stubborn to give up. Me, my characters, you all—none of us deserve for me to quit. It may only be words at a time. Paragraphs at a time. But I’ll be writing. You’ll still get stories.

I know that I’ve asked for so much patience from you all over the last few years. From my dad dying unexpectedly, to my little sister being killed, to just not having the mental capacity to write, you all have been there giving me your support. I want to thank you all for that so much. Without your unwavering support, I don’t know if I could find it in me to continue this career.

Please know that I see you. I see the patience you have with me. I see the love you all have for my words.

I don't want to lose any of you as readers, but I understand if you're tired of my inconsistency. Believe me, I am tired also. But, at the end of the day, we can all only do what's best for us.

I love you all.

A gentle reminder: We're all human. It's okay to not be okay. It's okay to have bad days. It's okay to struggle. Just remember that your life does matter. YOU matter. So, don't forget to take care of your mental health. You're important, too.

Now, tell me something good that's happened to you lately! Or if you just need moment to vent, you can do that too.

Xo,

Lynne